It’s Just an Insult!


“Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me”- the saying goes.   Yet, when we are insulted, words do hurts us. We may be fine initially hearing the insult, and the words are water off a ducks back. But, when we go back to the situation in our mind, we feel, “really did they say that to me, how mean, do they not understand what they said, etc”. We repeat it again in our mind, several times in a day for days to come, and we get ourselves stuck (even mildly depressed). In the meantime, the one who has insulted us is merrily getting on with their life. So, why am I not getting on with my life?

What I have learnt is that: We know who we are and we have self-respect (we may forget to apply self-respect). We also know the other person who has insulted us (generally, we know them well).   Therefore, I have a choice to keep repeating the hurt, not applying self-respect and not enjoying life. Or to “stop” the nonsense of self-hurt and get myself into gear and start to apply my self-respect!

How to get into gear (well, this is what I did/do).

Was the comment valid? If No: – then I tear it up, burn it, and chuck it (obviously, this is all mentally/emotionally in my head). If there is some truth to it, and I decide that I want to implement some changes in my life, I get on and make them happen. The remaining percentage of the comment where there is no validity, I chuck them.   I forgive myself for getting upset, forgetting my self-respect, and wasting days being upset and even paralysed.   I forgive the other person, so I can release the pain and I give them good wishes. Okay, this is a bit hard, but, if I don’t forgive, let go, give good wishes and accept them as they are, I create negative Karma and I will have to pay for it later. “It-“meaning the negative thoughts that I am projecting to the one who insulted me. Finally, I need to thank that person for helping me grow wiser, for gaining clarity and the  for strengthening my power to discern  (I thank them in my mind and send that vibration out).

After all, “sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me”.   An insult is “just words”.   What are words if I don’t water them and feed them? They are meaningless!   Therefore, I need to put the situation into perspective “It is just an Insult”!

One will feel so much free-er after this.

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Copyright © 2016  -2017 ThoughtsnLifeBlog  http://www.thoughtsnlifeblog   Author Bella

19 thoughts on “It’s Just an Insult!

  1. Thank you for taking the time to read. Yes, Hard to follow. I was in a lot pain over something. I was reading something and it said – It is just an insult. For me it was an A-ha moment and I put it into practice. I did it all in my mind and on a piece of paper, not directly with that person. What I found was the next interaction with that person was a whole heap better, because I released that pain. I still have work to do, but oh my it has made an impact and oh i feel so better and more stronger. I do meditate as well and I think meditation helps one heal and you get inner strength to put into practice and have some success.. I try to share what I have actually tried and implemented in my life, because I know i have had some element of success. in that it is hard but not impossible. Baby steps is the way. work in progress. baby steps, pat on the back, I can do it mentality – pump yourself up +ve vibes. good luck to us both


  2. Daniel Lieberman, a professor at UCLA, says that we are profoundly social creatures meaning when someone says something hurtful to us, it actually hurts. our brain reacts negatively and we can’t just become some enlightened being and overcome that pain at first. whether you choose to dwell on it however, is no longer your natural brain functions, but your conscious choice to relive that moment. I like what you said, its natural to get upset at first, but you have to learn to forgive yourself for getting upset at first. nice post

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    1. Thanks for you well read comment and your amazing memory. Gosh , this was something i actually used to let go of some pain and i sort of had an a-ha momemt when i was reading a class from the brahma kumaris and words where it is just an insult and it rung so loadly that i knew this is my answer to let go. Thxs good weekend

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  3. It’s really natural to feel hurt by barbed words that were meant to be hurtful but what helps most is how we choose to assimilate and react to it. Do we let it hold on to us for far longer than it should? That’s the part that must be worked on, how much of the insult we hold on to and how we react to them. Well said.

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