“Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me”- the saying goes. Yet, when we are insulted, words do hurts us. We may be fine initially hearing the insult, and the words are water off a ducks back. But, when we go back to the situation in our mind, we feel, “really did they say that to me, how mean, do they not understand what they said, etc”. We repeat it again in our mind, several times in a day for days to come, and we get ourselves stuck (even mildly depressed). In the meantime, the one who has insulted us is merrily getting on with their life. So, why am I not getting on with my life?
What I have learnt is that: We know who we are and we have self-respect (we may forget to apply self-respect). We also know the other person who has insulted us (generally, we know them well). Therefore, I have a choice to keep repeating the hurt, not applying self-respect and not enjoying life. Or to “stop” the nonsense of self-hurt and get myself into gear and start to apply my self-respect!
How to get into gear (well, this is what I did/do).
Was the comment valid?
If No: – then I tear it up, burn it, and chuck it (obviously, this is all mentally/emotionally in my head).
If there is some truth to it, and I decide that I want to implement some changes in my life, I get on and make them happen. The remaining percentage of the comment where there is no validity, I chuck them. I forgive myself for getting upset, forgetting my self-respect, and wasting days being upset and even paralysed. I forgive the other person, so I can release the pain and I give them good wishes. Okay, this is a bit hard, but, if I don’t forgive, let go, give good wishes and accept them as they are, I create negative Karma and I will have to pay for it later. “It-“meaning the negative thoughts that I am projecting to the one who insulted me. Finally, I need to thank that person for helping me grow wiser, for gaining clarity and the for strengthening my power to discern (I thank them in my mind and send that vibration out).
After all, “sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me”. An insult is “just words”. What are words if I don’t water them and feed them? They are meaningless! Therefore, I need to put the situation into perspective “It is just an Insult”! Additionally, I am an immortal soul, no stick, stone, sword, or fire can hurt me – nothing can hurt me. So what are words, just word. I am more stronger than words.
One will feel so much free-er after this.
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It’s really natural to feel hurt by barbed words that were meant to be hurtful but what helps most is how we choose to assimilate and react to it. Do we let it hold on to us for far longer than it should? That’s the part that must be worked on, how much of the insult we hold on to and how we react to them. Well said.
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Jacqueline, thank you and thanks for the pingback. You have a great way with words, so powerfully said. Kind regards Bella
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My pleasure 🙂
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