Do we worry? Are we fearful? Do we feel drained? Do we make things complicated when actually they are easy? Do we make a mountain out of a mole hill? Does our mind drive us crazzzy? Can we stop thinking? Do we compare our self to others and get depressed/upset? Do we obsess over a past situation and wish it was like xyz rather than being abc? Oh, I have a meeting with Y, I don’t like Y? Why are they like that? I can’t be bothered to write this report? Man, can you just give me a break! etc etc
I am sure the above will resonate with you in some shape or form. I know that in my own life I have got myself into crazy mode, into a pickle, by being worrisome, fearful, lazy, making things over complicated and just being way too hard on myself. On top of it all I have a PHD in procrastinating!
So, how do I make myself light and easy?
Clearly, I am not light and easy 100% of the time. Life is a bunch of habits, we just need to slowly break the bad habits and replace them with good habits. So how do I do this?
The Lessons Learnt Exercise
In my line of work, when we finish a project we carry out a meeting called lesson learnt. The point of lessons learnt is, to identify what we did well – so we continue to do it. What was bad and how we improve it, work on it or we accept it for what it was. What was okay but can be improved on next time. What worked as team, and individually and what did not, what self-improvements can be made. Finally we pat our self for achieving the project.
I transferred this exercise into my life. When you look at your life or a specific situation as a detached observer with no emotional attachments and answer the above questions and any others you want to add. You really can see your negative patterns, your positive traits, what is okay, and what you need to work, or what you need to simply accept. This self-analysis creates a list of work from which you can create goals. You will gain so much clarity, self-awareness, inner strength, determination, motivation, and you will become your own best friend, coach and teacher. Your small wins will become your private victories making you a more robust person.
OKAY, of course we will have down days, weeks where life is just?** !!!. If you do this exercise regularly, you will build up an inner strength that allows you to bounce back faster.
A quick fix for a bad moment in the day
So, you are right in the middle of a mental turmoil at work and you are alone at your desk. Clearly , this is not the place for a lessons learnt exercise. But, you need to vent. This is my tried and tested method,should you wish to try ? Take a scrappy piece of paper and write: –
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, AHHHHHHHHHHH, AHHHHHHHHH, I am okay, I let it go, It will pass, I am learning , I am improving, It is okay, I am thick skinned, It is not personal, I am great, I am Calm, I am super fine, and any other affirmation you want to add. I am grateful for the learning opportunities and I am becoming a better person. Repeat this 3 times including the Ahhhh. Rip that piece of paper up and recycle it. See how you feel after that! I am serious, I have done it in my work places and still do. I even do it at home and with my voluntary work. Try this as crazzy as it sounds, you will feel better and you will laugh at yourself cause it is so crazy.
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