A Hater Will Hate You Regardless

So,  I wrote this post old school pencil and paper, and it started out one way and then went another way.  So, far I don’t think I have had such a negative title on my blog “A Haters will Hate you Regardless” – I can’t say I am too keen on it right now either.  But, it captures what I want to share.  It is not healthy for us to stay in pain, so when we accept certain things the way they are and make an attempt to change ourselves  so we can find peace.

So, let me get on with it.  You could be the NICEST person everyone knows and everyone loves you, and looks up to you and they genuinely love you for who you are and what you represent.

Also, your life could be quite horrible, and full of sacrifices (in the eyes of others), but you, do your actions with love, kindness and compassion. With no want of praise or reward.  In fact, the word sacrifice to you sounds like a swear word, because you are doing it out of love, love for the family,  your friends, and it is an expression of your personality.   You have to hear a lot words/advice  from people saying, but what about your life!?  And you are like ” excuse me (of course  you are saying this in your mind, because you are too humble and smart to say it to their face, because you know they won’t get it.  After all what did they just say to you!!!).  So,  you are like – what are you saying to me – I am doing this out of love and compassion it is an expression of my love, my personality and you clearly don’t get that.  Then you put full stop on that thought,   by reminding yourself that we are all UNIQUE human beings  and it is fine for others  to have their opinion, but I am going to carry on being me, because I like me  and if I was anything else I could not live with myself.

The above acts of kindness, compassion, and inner strength are revered by some.  But, some will hate you regardless of how kind, nice, good, truthful, honest, talented, genuine, sincere and humble  you are.   Now, we could spend ages trying to figure out why, why, why do they hate me, why are they like this?  However, if some one wants to judge you badly, or hate you or find reasons to hate you, they are going to do that no matter whatFrankly, there isn’t much you can do to stop it, because it is their nature to be like that with you.   They are of course lovely to everyone else and show how nice they are to everyone else, but to your they are just horrid in a secretive way that others can’t see their games.    This saga of them hating you for no real valid reason is not  a saga of a few months,  it is a saga of  a few years,  may be even a decade or decades!!!    So what can we do, to  change this equation?.   Well, in this scenario our relationship with person is not close ,  in that we can not speak or discuss anything with them  because of the tension  in the air and they don’t want to keep a relationship with you. But the relationship itself is a close family relationship meaning you can’t ignore or escape them and nor should you. You might have many large gaps of not seeing them,  just to recover from the last encounter.  Which makes the relationship okay and reduces the amount of time you are in pain.

Anyway the scene is set.  They hate you regardless, no amount of being, nice, kind, presents , money ,  humanity will change it, because they want hate you  and they have supporters encouraging them to hate you.  So, it is a  check mate and you can’t escape it , or  make it better from your end because you have already tried countless time, but they don’t want to stop hating you.

We all know that we can’t change another person. We can only  change our-self.

So,   in my simple view, WE  HAVE NO OTHER OPTION!  That is, we must give good wishes, we must let go,  we must forget,  and we must forgive.   I know , I know  it is hard  and  easy to say than do.   But, tell me what other choice do you have – are you going to stay a victim your whole life ? 

Nelson Mandel – FORGAVE them for what they did – Why – so he could live a free life.

The other important point  I need to add here is,  If I take pain, sorrow, and keep it in my heart, I breed dislike, hate, pain and it grows.  I create a negative KARMIC bondage with them and we have a vicious circle that won’t stop growing and in turn will cause me further unlimited pain.

So what if they don’t change, I should change my life , for my freedom, for my happiness.  Do I think myself wise, then if I am wise, the wise thing to do  is to let go, forgive, forget and give good wishes.

When I release pain on my side, pain on their side is released (does that make sense) and the strength of vicious circle is reduced.

Meditation is a beautiful way to forgive myself and forgive them, to empower you with inner peace and inner strength to be strong to let go of the pain.  We are crazy, we love to hold on to pain !! we do don’t we.  So let us become wise and let go.

I hope this makes sense and I hope we can all let go of the pain with the power of good wishes, letting go, forgiving and releasing our pain and our karmic bondage to them and in-turn they release theirs because I released mine and we are able to have a good relationship.

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15 thoughts on “A Hater Will Hate You Regardless

  1. I agree with the idea that haters will hate you regardless. there was a man who wrote a book called “all of the inconsistencies of Gandhi.” This was a guy who spent his entire life trying to prove that Gandhi was wrong so I greatly believe that haters will hate you regardless of who you are as a person. when it comes to family hating you though they should get more chances than friends because they are family but i can’t imagine a situation where a family member hates you so much that you can’t fix the situation. great post:)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Damn, talk about haters being… Well, haters lol! Vincent, your input here taught me something new about the world and I thank you for that hah!
      And I understand what you (Bella) mean when you say a hater will hate you no matter what.

      Regardless of what we do, the instant we are on the “Hate-dar”, we are doomed for eternity until certain miraculous event happens to us lol. A simple example would be the idea of “First Impression” and the “Halo Effect” – Where if Jack is perceived as a good man, he will forever be good and never bad and vice versa.

      In a classic case of an employee and his boss, if Jack is late for work, boss would go “He must’ve had a good reason for it” and excuse him.

      But what if Jack is not on the good side of his boss and instead, is on the bad side?
      The moment Jack is late, Boss would be like “Where the hell have you been? Don’t give me the excuse of traffic, you could’ve woken up earlier if you knew you’d be late!”

      As you’ve said, haters are gonna hate. So let’s all do the Taylor Swift and “Shake it off~ Shake it off~”

      Cheers for great post bud!

      Your pal,
      Benjamin

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Hi Benjamin, The funny thing is a hater hates but at the same time they are lovely with others. But all I want to say is – let them hate, but don’t lose yourself in their hate and keep yourself free from Karmic re-bound and try to live a happy life. Sometimes, family can hate and they are close family – you have heard of family feuds. It normally happens when someone marries into a family and they want their life their way and don’t want to get to know the family they have married into.. because they are marrying who they are marrying and not the wider family. They want every material possession you have but they want to hate you and make you look bad. It can get horrid. So, it is all about – keeping your self safe from creating a viscous circle and rising above it as much as you . And facing fact. and letting go – cause if you hold on to pain that the viscous circle again.

        Thanks for popping by, following and commenting.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I like the example of the first impression. human beings tend to make decisions on things and people and will only look for things tht reinforce that decision. so if your boss likes you then she will ignore the bad things you do, and like you said if the boss hates you then she will only look for more reasons to hate you

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I really agree with the title.. Haters will hate you anyway.. Plus, I want to shed some light on the consequences of a hater hating someone deeply.. few people may be strong willed not to be affected by others hate, yet I have seen many many in my life who have turned out to be full of rage and hatred after taking a lot of bad stuff from others… I am not blaming anyone here, after all we are humans.. SO, the haters will hate anyway, he/she may also succeed to birth a few more haters around them…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks for visiting, followung and commenting. I agree with your cimments in breeding new haters. The weight of being hated imapcts health and happiness and mental health. Thats why one has to forgive , meditate etc so that being hated doesnt consume you . Thanks again for following comments. Good day to you

      Liked by 2 people

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