So, I wrote this post old school pencil and paper, and it started out one way and then went another way. So, far I don’t think I have had such a negative title on my blog “A Haters will Hate you Regardless” – I can’t say I am too keen on it right now either. But, it captures what I want to share. It is not healthy for us to stay in pain, so when we accept certain things the way they are and make an attempt to change ourselves so we can find peace.
So, let me get on with it. You could be the NICEST person everyone knows and everyone loves you, and looks up to you and they genuinely love you for who you are and what you represent.
Also, your life could be quite horrible, and full of sacrifices (in the eyes of others), but you, do your actions with love, kindness and compassion. With no want of praise or reward. In fact, the word sacrifice to you sounds like a swear word, because you are doing it out of love, love for the family, your friends, and it is an expression of your personality. You have to hear a lot words/advice from people saying, but what about your life!? And you are like ” excuse me (of course you are saying this in your mind, because you are too humble and smart to say it to their face, because you know they won’t get it. After all what did they just say to you!!!). So, you are like – what are you saying to me – I am doing this out of love and compassion it is an expression of my love, my personality and you clearly don’t get that. Then you put full stop on that thought, by reminding yourself that we are all UNIQUE human beings and it is fine for others to have their opinion, but I am going to carry on being me, because I like me and if I was anything else I could not live with myself.
The above acts of kindness, compassion, and inner strength are revered by some. But, some will hate you regardless of how kind, nice, good, truthful, honest, talented, genuine, sincere and humble you are. Now, we could spend ages trying to figure out why, why, why do they hate me, why are they like this? However, if some one wants to judge you badly, or hate you or find reasons to hate you, they are going to do that no matter what. Frankly, there isn’t much you can do to stop it, because it is their nature to be like that with you. They are of course lovely to everyone else and show how nice they are to everyone else, but to your they are just horrid in a secretive way that others can’t see their games. This saga of them hating you for no real valid reason is not a saga of a few months, it is a saga of a few years, may be even a decade or decades!!! So what can we do, to change this equation?. Well, in this scenario our relationship with person is not close , in that we can not speak or discuss anything with them because of the tension in the air and they don’t want to keep a relationship with you. But the relationship itself is a close family relationship meaning you can’t ignore or escape them and nor should you. You might have many large gaps of not seeing them, just to recover from the last encounter. Which makes the relationship okay and reduces the amount of time you are in pain.
Anyway the scene is set. They hate you regardless, no amount of being, nice, kind, presents , money , humanity will change it, because they want hate you and they have supporters encouraging them to hate you. So, it is a check mate and you can’t escape it , or make it better from your end because you have already tried countless time, but they don’t want to stop hating you.
We all know that we can’t change another person. We can only change our-self.
So, in my simple view, WE HAVE NO OTHER OPTION! That is, we must give good wishes, we must let go, we must forget, and we must forgive. I know , I know it is hard and easy to say than do. But, tell me what other choice do you have – are you going to stay a victim your whole life ?
Nelson Mandel – FORGAVE them for what they did – Why – so he could live a free life.
The other important point I need to add here is, If I take pain, sorrow, and keep it in my heart, I breed dislike, hate, pain and it grows. I create a negative KARMIC bondage with them and we have a vicious circle that won’t stop growing and in turn will cause me further unlimited pain.
So what if they don’t change, I should change my life , for my freedom, for my happiness. Do I think myself wise, then if I am wise, the wise thing to do is to let go, forgive, forget and give good wishes.
When I release pain on my side, pain on their side is released (does that make sense) and the strength of vicious circle is reduced.
Meditation is a beautiful way to forgive myself and forgive them, to empower you with inner peace and inner strength to be strong to let go of the pain. We are crazy, we love to hold on to pain !! we do don’t we. So let us become wise and let go.
I hope this makes sense and I hope we can all let go of the pain with the power of good wishes, letting go, forgiving and releasing our pain and our karmic bondage to them and in-turn they release theirs because I released mine and we are able to have a good relationship.
- Meditation – Create A Hero in yourself
- The Power of Good Wishes
- It’s Just an Insult!
- Two Wolves – Unknown Author
- Change – Anticipate, Adapt, Enjoy
- Self-Control & Self-Grace
- Motivation, Inspiration & Perspective
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Inspired by the Brahma Kumaris