Nobody Abuses Us More than We Abuse Ourselves

The whole premise of my blog is that our thoughts impact our life, and these two paragraphs from  a book I am reading are so apt….   I hope that you will  be inspired to make a change in the way you think about yourself, others and situations in life.

But nobody abuses us more than we abuse ourselves, and it is the Judge, the Victim, and the belief system that make us do this. True, we find people who say their husband or wife, or mother or father, abused them, but you know that we abuse ourselves much more than that. The way we judge ourselves is the worst judge that ever existed. If we make a mistake in front of people, we try to deny the mistake and cover it up.


In your whole life nobody has ever abused you more than you have abused yourself. And the limit of your self-abuse is exactly the limit that you will tolerate from someone else. If someone abuses you a little more than you abuse yourself, you will probably walk away from that person. But if someone abuses you a little less than you abuse yourself, you will probably stay in the relationship and tolerate it endlessly.

Would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

Book Details:       Ruiz, Don Miguel. The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book Book 1) (p. 20). Amber-Allen Publishing. Kindle Edition.

This link is a UK Amazon afflilated link, meaning if you buy this book I get a small amount of money at no expense to yourself.  See my Disclaimer /Disclosure statement.

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Categories: #Thoughts

20 replies

  1. “the limit of your self-abuse is exactly the limit that you will tolerate from someone else” this is so true! I find myself being okay with hurtful things that people say to me because they are so much less hurtful than things I’ve thought to myself. You spend so much time butchering yourself that you forget how to defend yourself sometimes.

    Liked by 1 person

    • The book is worth a read and honesty when recognise what we do too ourself, we should make it an aim to stop. Because we have taken the first step we have recognised and now the next step is too stop doing it. And i think and know we can stop it and change our life.. i have

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  2. I totally agree with these words of wisdom, Bella and it is all us there is no one besides us in this world. I have across a beautiful quote by Khalil Gibran that says; ‘And God said ‘Love your enemy’ and I obeyed Him and loved myself. So this is it all is us in a nutshell.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I can definitely agree with this title, further more the written words. I will be the FIRST to admit I am very hard on myself, since especially starting to become a personal trainer and then deciding to compete again, it has been a good and bad low for me, but I have gotten better at looking at my positives as much as I can ; so I don’t obsess too much about the negatives on my physique. Awesome post Bella.

    Shay-lon

    Liked by 1 person

    • Shay-lon you know you should read the book, it is a small book. Do you write affirmations and gratitudes daily ? I think
      you should. I did a good few years ago, and omg it made me mellow out and really appreciate myself better, and chilled me out about life. I highly recommend it.

      I still owe you that meditation post. it might take a bit of time.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Bella,
        take your time with the meditation post, there is NO rush with it, trust me. I am always behind on everything! lol 😛

        anyways, no I have never made affirmations or gratitudes ever in my life, and I still have to get in the habit for meditation and now someone wants me to implement Yoga, so many things I need to make time for on top of life, it gets overwhelming , if that makes sense .. to keep up with everything that is expected of me and then to add to the list. When I start with affirmations and get on a better grind with meditation, etc you will be the first to know .. since it is because of you , I learn all of this side of things.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. The tough part of this is that we tend to think that the self abuse is somehow not bad, it twists your mind and reality and can make you feel so low in yourself. It’s something I’ve struggled with and so many of us can’t see we are doing it to ourselves, yet we wouldn’t tolerate another. We all need to learn steps to be more positive to avoid such abuse and negativity on ourselves. Good quote, makes you think 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person