Peace of Mind – The Rules (Intro and Rule 1)

Introduction -Peace of Mind – The Rule

  1. You can only change yourself not another
  2. Let go of pain immediately
  3. Don’t regurgitate the pain again and again
  4. Learn to see and not see, feel and not feel.
  5. Protect yourself from your automatic triggers
  6. Don’t expect from others, just watch and observe.
  7. Remind yourself to keep your peace each time you get irritated or when your blood starts to boil….
Peace of Mind the rules - inst

These rules have been created based on my experience of life, and the tools and methods that I have devised/employed to help me keep it together when things get a bit ….!  The point I wish to make here, is that you can create your own rules as only you know yourself.  These are my thoughts, based on my life lesson and my perspective, and may be they might be useful to you as well.


How Well Do You Understand Yourself?

Before we begin taking a deep dive into the rules of Peace of Mind, I think it very important to step back and do a bit of self-analysis.  The question I pose to you, is how well do you know yourself?

I love to journal, as it is a great way to get to know myself, understand my triggers, my reactions, strengths, and what lessons I  keep stumbling on.  Additionally, I love to read positive articles, self-development books, spiritual books that help me challenge the way I look and think about life.  Along with daily meditation, these tools help and empower me to get past whatever it is that I am currently stuck with.  My biggest teacher is the teachings of Raja Yoga Meditation, it is for me something that stops me from crumbling under the weight of all the pains of life.

These are the tools I use to know myself, and they work for me.  I am very sure they will work for you.


Get A PEN and Paper

Get a Pen and Paper and answer the following questions at your ease.  I think it is really important to step back and figure out a few things, before we go into the rules (well my perspective of the rules).  We cannot change what hurts, if we do not stop to understand our self-better.  In difficult situations it so easy to get emotionally worked up and everything spirals out of control.

So Get a Pen and Paper and write your answer to these question.  This is for you and you only.

  1. What does Peace of Mind for you? What does it look like, feel like, how are you when you have peace of mind?
  2. Do you believe you have to work at Peace of mind every day for the rest of your life? Whether your answers is yes or no, ask yourself WHY?
  3. What makes you angry, irritated, and annoyed?
  4. What makes you cry, feel hurt, feel pain?
  5. What are your negative automatic reactions?  Why do you react that way?
  6. What situations are you able to keep your cool under even when agitated? Why can you keep your cool in these situations and not others?
  7. Is it always the other person fault? Why? And what can you do about it? Do you feel like your banging your head on brick wall? Can you see that person or situation ever changing?  Are you adding to the situation in some way?  What can you do to stop yourself from feeling this way?  Again, is it the other persons fault, they hurt you 3 months ago they have moved on, and you are still  in pain today, is it their fault, or you can’t let go?  What is your learning from all the pain in your life?  Where does your responsibility lie?  Changing yourself or changing them?
  8. Are you expecting too much from the situation or other people? Why can’t you accept them?
  9. What tools do you use to keep your peace in / during a difficult situation? Or After the situation?
  10. Finally, write all your successes where you have kept you peace of mind, or been able bring back peace in your life after crying or whatever it might be.  Pat yourself on the back for all that you have achieve.

Our Thinking  &  Perspective

How we think makes us happy or sad!  How we perceive makes us happy or sad.  What I read impacts my life, what I talk or gossip about impact my happiness or sadness.

Rule # 1 – You can only Change yourself and not another.

Actually, Rule number 1 is the accumulated learning and practises of the other rules.  It is one of the main conclusion of life lessons.  It is the response to the feeling of banging your head on brick wall.   It is a major realisation and turning point.   But, until that realisation happens, you can use it as a little mantra to help you keep your peace of mind.   Actually, the questions above should help you see the deep significance behind this rule.  It may not be clear today but it will be in time.

We are all unique and that is okay.  We have no right to hurt another.  But we get hurt by what happens in life.    When I really get to the place that I can accept that I can only change myself and not another,  I will have  gained wisdom, maturity  and I will stop living in pain.  I will stop blaming another for what I feel.

I know it seem soo very hard to accept this right now.  But, it will get better I promise.   The pain we feel will not go away in a week or a month, but it will go away eventually, but I have to make effort to make it go away.  Even if I say rule #1 as  mantra “ I can only change myself and not another”, and coupled with this mantra say another mantra “there is benefit in everything”., we will see small changes and shifts in our lives and eventually we be able to master rule number 1.


Here are the other rules, click on the links below

I would like to finish off with a Meditation, from the release your wings youtube channel.  I hope this meditation helps you with answering the questions and centering yourself…

Thank you for popping by.  Please like, share,  and comment below your thoughts on this blog post. 

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Published by thoughtsnlifeblog

I believe that the thoughts we create impact our life greatly. If we are able to change our thoughts, redirect them, catch our negative thinking.We can change our life. Read my 'About' page to find out more about

42 thoughts on “Peace of Mind – The Rules (Intro and Rule 1)

  1. Truly amazing and peaceful post, Bella and one of your best. Thanks so much for the inspirational and encouraging share. All what you have said in your post is what we need to do everyday and catch ourselves the moment we feel slipping past and allowing our egos to take over. Silence and Peace are so very important.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Bella let me agree with you on so many points here. We read, observe and tend to do certain things casually but are not serious on so many important issues. The situations that you elaborate are on life’s most wanted things to be solved and resolved.
    Yes accepting your rule to jot down is one which I liked the most. I feel all of us should do that and that is the answer to many question we ask ourselves.
    Great Post Bella!
    Spread the Word

    Liked by 1 person

  3. What a beautifully refreshing article. There’s so much to take from your words and grow. And completing it with a guided meditation was simply on point. Looking forward to reading what’s upcoming!

    Sending you positive energy,

    Giulia x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is insightful. I was feeling quite low (due to some unexpressed anger issues) a few days back. And then, suddenly it occurred to me that I can actually vent out my frustration in a blog, so I ended up writing this

    You may find the blog too harsh or immature, but, all that pent-up negative emotion inside me needed an outlet and believe it or not I actually felt much better after writing this.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. If i may.. make that post private. It is good vent and have out of your system and journaling helps. But to leave such anger out there you are asking for more neagativity. When i need to vent i write it all out on a piece of paper, then i shred that and move on. The law of attraction will attract negative situtations if that is what you are sending.. so i would actually trash that blog post because you are attracting more negativity. That is my humble opinion and you are welcome to ignore it.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. There’s so much to ponder in your words here Bella but what really came through to me is the responsibility that each of us have to OURSELVES and also that we need to accept how life is, without fighting it. Very thought provoking questions too, lots to think about and I love the rules you’ve created. They resonated deeply with me. Finally, I’m looking forward to doing the meditation tonight. Thanks for a great post, I’m looking forward to reading more. xo

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I am so glad you found this useful. Do, do the questions now and may be again later. Actually questioning ourselves often like this reveals so much. I am in midfle of writing next weeks. Yes, it is a tough one but we are responsible for the way we feel. Though they hurt us , but it is actually i who keep it going. They may never change so does that mean i live in pain my whole life. It is a tough one. Thats why make it a mantra when it is very hard helps.

      Thank you for the positive feed back means a lot. I still get nervous about my writing and posts.

      Happy sunday and rest of the week.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re right, it is us that keeps the hurt going, it’s almost like a self-inflicting spiral that can get out of control if we’re not careful. I was answering the questions in my head as I read them but I think writing them down is a great idea. I do love my journaling. Thanks again Bella. xx

        Liked by 3 people

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