Introduction -Peace of Mind – The Rule
- You can only change yourself not another
- Let go of pain immediately
- Don’t regurgitate the pain again and again
- Learn to see and not see, feel and not feel.
- Protect yourself from your automatic triggers
- Don’t expect from others, just watch and observe.
- Remind yourself to keep your peace each time you get irritated or when your blood starts to boil….
These rules have been created based on my experience of life, and the tools and methods that I have devised/employed to help me keep it together when things get a bit ….! The point I wish to make here, is that you can create your own rules as only you know yourself. These are my thoughts, based on my life lesson and my perspective, and may be they might be useful to you as well.
How Well Do You Understand Yourself?
Before we begin taking a deep dive into the rules of Peace of Mind, I think it very important to step back and do a bit of self-analysis. The question I pose to you, is how well do you know yourself?
I love to journal, as it is a great way to get to know myself, understand my triggers, my reactions, strengths, and what lessons I keep stumbling on. Additionally, I love to read positive articles, self-development books, spiritual books that help me challenge the way I look and think about life. Along with daily meditation, these tools help and empower me to get past whatever it is that I am currently stuck with. My biggest teacher is the teachings of Raja Yoga Meditation, it is for me something that stops me from crumbling under the weight of all the pains of life.
These are the tools I use to know myself, and they work for me. I am very sure they will work for you.
Get A PEN and Paper
Get a Pen and Paper and answer the following questions at your ease. I think it is really important to step back and figure out a few things, before we go into the rules (well my perspective of the rules). We cannot change what hurts, if we do not stop to understand our self-better. When we understand ourself better, then difficult situations become easier to handle. Otherwise, in difficult situations it is easy to get emotionally worked up and everything spirals out of control.
Get a Pen and Paper and write your answer to these question. This is for you and you only.
- What does Peace of Mind for you? What does it look like, feel like, how are you when you have peace of mind?
- Do you believe you have to work at Peace of mind every day for the rest of your life? Whether your answers is yes or no, ask yourself WHY?
- What makes you angry, irritated, and annoyed?
- What makes you cry, feel hurt, feel pain?
- What are your negative automatic reactions? Why do you react that way?
- What situations are you able to keep your cool under even when agitated? Why can you keep your cool in these situations and not others?
- Is it always the other person fault? Why? And what can you do about it? Do you feel like your banging your head on brick wall? Can you see that person or situation ever changing? Are you adding to the situation in some way? What can you do to stop yourself from feeling this way? Again, is it the other persons fault, they hurt you 3 months ago they have moved on, and you are still in pain today, is it their fault, or you can’t let go? What is your learning from all the pain in your life? Where does your responsibility lie? Changing yourself or changing them?
- Are you expecting too much from the situation or other people? Why can’t you accept them?
- What tools do you use to keep your peace in / during a difficult situation? Or After the situation?
- Finally, write all your successes where you have kept you peace of mind, or been able bring back peace in your life after crying or whatever it might be. Pat yourself on the back for all that you have achieve.
Our Thinking & Perspective
How we think makes us happy or sad! How we perceive makes us happy or sad. What I read impacts my life, what I talk or gossip about impact my happiness or sadness.
Rule # 1 – You can only Change yourself and not another.
Actually, Rule number 1 is my accumulated learning and practises of all the other rules. It is one of the main conclusion of my life lessons. It is the response to the feeling of wanting to bang my head on brick wall.
It is a major realisation and turning point. But, until that realisation happens, we can use it as a little mantra to help you keep your peace of mind.
Actually, the questions above should help you see the deep significance behind this rule. It may not be clear today but it will be in time.
We are all unique and that is okay. We have no right to hurt another. But we get hurt by what happens in life.
When I really get to the place that I can accept that I can only change myself and not another, I will have gained wisdom, maturity and I will stop living in pain. I will stop blaming another for what I feel.
I know it seem so very hard to accept this right now. But, it will get better I promise. The pain we feel will not go away in a week or a month, but it will go away eventually, but I have to make effort to make it go away.
Even if I say rule #1 as mantra “ I can only change myself and not another”, and coupled with this mantra say another mantra “there is benefit in everything”., we will see small changes and shifts in our lives and eventually we be able to master rule number 1.
Here are the other rules, click on the links below
So Last week I introduced the “Peace of Mind -The Rules” and spoke of Rule 1. This week it is the turn of Rule 2 & 3. If you missed last week post here it is: Peace of Mind – The Rules (Intro and Rule 1) Before I get into the rules. It is important […]
Peace of Mind – The Rules – Rules 4 to 7. Last Post in this series. Automatic Reactions Your automatic trigger can work against you when you want peace of mind. You have to know yourself well, to know what pushes your buttons. Is it the external situation, or are you already internally upset and […]
I would like to finish off with a Meditation, from the release your wings youtube channel. I hope this meditation helps you with answering the questions and centering yourself…
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Other Blog Post you might find useful
- Do Yourself a Favour – Let Go!
- It is said See No, Hear No, Speak No, Think No,…..Why?
- Fact – Life Lessons will Repeat Until We Learn
- Dealing With Negative and Unhelpful Thoughts
- Meditation Commentary – Being Gentle with the Self.
- What about Decluttering Your Mind?
- Sunday – The best day to Journal
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